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Friday, February 03, 2006

posted by David - 12:25 PM


David here with a special rant!

Just North, you are one of the slackingest slackers since they invented slacking. After all of your grandiose talk; You STILL haven't done any follow up posts for the playoffs. Well I have something to talk about. Yes it *IS* related to the fact that Superbowl XL is in a couple of days.

I have rooted for the Seahawks ever since I knew what football was. I watched when they won their division back when Dave Krieg would throw the ball to Steve Largent, who would then trip over a stegosaur. It was all good fun. I personally loved it when they would release the Wooly Mammoths during halftime. I've been a fan of the Hawks since most people viewed them as Jobber Team number 5 in the AFC West.

The only problem is... people still do. They finish with the best record in the NFC. They have the NFL MVP, all-time season rushing TD leader and a Pro Bowl starter at QB. They have one of the most versatile offenses in the NFL, and their defense lead the league in sacks. And they're going into the Super Bowl as underdogs to the No. 6 seed from the AFC that barely made the playoffs.

This doesn't bother me.

The Stillah's have a long-standing reputation as a contender. They are going to be playing with home-field advantage for the first time since the playoffs started. They have a terrific defensive squad, and a solid core group to move it down the field. They have a burger on a bus... Who could ask for more?

When I saw the matchup for the Superbowl, I was excited. Two solid, well-matched teams playing in a Super Bowl. Even the commercials haven't carried the Super Bowl in recent years, with the games lacking in interest, hype, etc. "This year will be a great matchup," I thought. "And we might get to see one of the best championship games in the history of the NFL."

Then the media coverage started.

Mostly, I blame the psychic friends network... most people call them ESPN (Extra Sensory Perception Network). They have pretty much declared there is no way some wussy team of coffee-drinking, computer poofters has any chance against the STEEEEEEEL curtain. (That was for you wrestling fans out there... Football might not have ladders and chairs...but they have CURTAINS! Gotta love the NFL.)

Anyway, for the last two weeks, I've been listening to a media network controlled by the east coast, in some places referred to the "First" coast, bash on the Hawks and push the yellow and black. I know black is a much beloved color and all, but I don't enjoy having my team spat upon by 70% of the nation's sports news coverage.

Heck, the only time during the season that the Seahawks get any mention it goes something like this.




Announcer 1: Wow, can you believe that?!? Three fumbles in one game. And speaking of fumbles, there's a clip from the Seattle game we'd like to show you. Check this out.

Announcer 2: Yeah, not only can't they seem to navigate a minivan, but Alexander has problems navigating a sea of arms here. * Show's clip of the NFL leading rusher fumbling against the Redskins *

Announcer 1: Wow, did you see that ball fly out? Maybe he forgot his glasses by his computer before drinking that quadruple latte this morning.

Announcer 2: I prefer Mocha's myself.... er.... Dang. I was supposed to insult the Pacific Northwest again... can we shoot that over? LIVE? NOOOOO! My career is over.


Well, in order to close this up, I'd just like to say this. My dreams have changed. No longer do I want my Hawks to just go to the Super Bowl and have a good game against a quality, but slightly-inferior opponent. If they do, they will likely be referred to as lucky, and there will be complaints about some call made by the officials. (The line judge that left his helper monkey in the locker room perhaps.) My only remaining hope is that the 'Hawks don't just bring a good game. I hope they can play with divine fury the likes of which hasn't been seen since the dinosaurs blew up their nuclear facilities and had to become birds and take up ninjitsu to survive. It seems that in order to gain ANY modicum of respect from the east-coast biased media, they will have to wash the steel curtain and hang them out to dry. (I know a machine they can do that with... they use it for cleaning anchor chains for aircraft carriers.... yes. They use a BIG coin-op laundry facility. No... you can't use it for your convertable... sicko.)

This has been a Waste of Space

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